Slackin' Off & Snowed In with King Arthur and Jesus Christ

Ok, ok... so I may have not written a word in over month. I'm not slackin' off where therapy is concerned. I just haven't written a damn thing. Why? I'm not sure really. It could be the cold. While temperature doesn't bother me like it used to, temperatures below freezing and more snow than we've had in years has left me tired, annoyed and with a serious case of cabin fever. This time of year I often find myself, as many New Yorkers do, looking at Florida real estate and wondering "What if?" I have had snow days on therapy days, can't get out of the driveway to even get to the gym, and I hate to say it... fighting to avoid wintery comfort foods... sometimes succeeding sometimes not. Maybe the lethargy I have been fighting came from the recent mental battle I knew would eventually come, but didn't want to admit it could happen to me.

As with any healing, physical therapy or even athletic training there are times of progress and plateau. Even times when you seem to be going backward. You're really not, but your state of mind makes it seem so. When I started this journey I promised to honestly document the process. So this is me being honest.

While physically I feel good, the results I've seen so far are not going away, mentally I found myself wanting so badly to do more. I had gotten frustrated and annoyed, allowing a general disconnectedness to fall over my daily routine. Which is again unusual for me. I could focus on the fact that I no longer need to be strapped into the chair because my core strength and balance has improved so greatly. I could think about how I'm able to stand longer in the gait harness. Maybe things like a huge reduction in the stomach pain that stemmed from food allergies or the ever so slight increase from week to week in bladder control sensation would get me excited... but no, for some reason, it wasn't enough. I don't know what's more aggravating, being aggravated over something or being aggravated that you're aggravated. These minds of ours so desperately need to be disciplined.

The other day I was encouraging a friend who is going through a very difficult time and we were discussing the power of the will to transform our lives. I began to meditate on will. Volition. What do we WANT? For centuries philosophers the world over have equated the force of the human will with the element of Fire. The creative force that brings desire into being in the material world. If we think in terms of force or energy using fire as an analogy the same power that can cook your food can burn down your home. It's what you choose to do with it. Our will operates in the exact same way, it even programs the subconscious to react the same way in certain situations over and over again because we choose to side with the negative feelings and emotions instead of learning the lesson and moving on. By consistent willful action we choose to build the psychological matrix through which our desire manifests in our lives. This would explain why people can be on certain destructive cycles never going anywhere. Deep down it's all they know, it's what makes them comfortable and therefore what they... want.

In the legends of King Arthur and his knights the center piece of their quest was the Holy Grail. The fabled cup of Christ from which he served his disciples communion and supposedly caught his blood while on the cross. Whoever drank from this cup would receive eternal life. As the story goes, when a knight was to join this mysterious group, he would be asked a question. "Whom does the grail serve?" Interesting turn of phrase. Who does it serve? Jesus while praying in the Garden of Gethsemane supposedly said, "Father, if it be your will let this cup pass from me, but not my will, but thine be done."

If we interpret the story literally as many still do it's a noble story of courage and the one sacrificing himself or herself for the many by subjecting their own desires for that of a higher cause. However, if we look deeper from an esoteric perspective, maybe there is a link in these two stories? Without trying to sound mystical or deep let's consider the symbology. What does a cup do? It holds stuff. What does the human body do? It holds the brain and heart which in turn holds the human consciousness. What lies within our consciousness? I think we can all agree that our feelings, emotions and intellect reside there, but what else? The human will. When Jesus was speaking of the cup he didn't need a new physical body to do what needed doing, but what he did need to do was align or harmonize his consciousness, the structure that held his feelings and emotions, with what he knew via his intellect to be true. By aligning his will with the will of a higher purpose, or what he knew to be a greater truth, he was able to muster the power needed to accomplish what he set out to do.

So let's get back to the King Arther analogy. Whom does the grail serve? If we look at the cup as a container, and that container is our consciousness holding our feelings, emotions, intellect and will, we understand the power of these four forces working in harmony together for a purpose. It is then we see that the grail serves you. It serves you what you want. Positive or negative. It serves you with what you need to carry out the vision you have inside of you.

So I'm on a quest. A quest to break through the wall. A quest to be patient and not get angry or frustrated or down. What quest are you on? Who knows... maybe there's a resurrection on the other side.

I leave you this week with a few videos of recent progress.

Thanks for reading.


  1. BEAUTIFUL! loved proud of you. you can DO so happy happy


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